


Silence at Midnight

by freckled_krista



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Drug Addiction, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-16 00:04:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5805526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freckled_krista/pseuds/freckled_krista
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi had taken to enjoying his breaks on the roof. It was cold, and dark, but at least it was peaceful.<br/>He hadn't expected to find an interloper.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silence at Midnight

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! I've been procrastinating writing an angsty scene in my Yumikuri fic by... writing an angsty eruri fic??   
> There are some pretty dark themes, as the tags may have suggested, so please take care.   
> I hope you enjoy!

The office floor was silent as Levi slipped through the door backwards, arms laden with supplies. Just how he liked it. Most nights the offices were deserted when Levi arrived to clean, allowing him to work in peace. It made the job a lot easier, and Levi appreciated the quiet that he rarely enjoyed at home, thanks to his lively roommate. He started by emptying the bins and collecting the various empty coffee cups littered around the room, quickly getting into the rhythm of his work.

By the time he had begun hoovering, he was practically on autopilot, his mind going over his shopping list for the supermarket and trying to plan his meals for the week ahead. Levi stopped about halfway around the room, noticing a small potted plant on one of the desks. He had no idea what kind of plant it was, but snapped a quick picture to send to his roommate. Hanji had developed a fervent interest in gardening, even though the pair lived in a small apartment with no garden to speak of, and had begun to fill their cramped living place with various potted flowers and shrubs. Hanji's obsessions came and went rapidly, and Levi humoured them the majority of the time, although hairdressing had been the most disastrous of their interests. They had hacked away so much of Levi's once lustrous, thick hair that he had been forced to buy a pair of clippers and fashion himself a hasty undercut. Levi grimaced at the memory and shoved his phone back into his pocket, resuming the hoovering and ignoring the insistent buzzing of his phone. Maybe he shouldn't have texted Hange at work. They tended to go slightly overboard.

Once he had finished the hoovering, Levi grabbed an energy drink from his backpack and downed half of the bottle instantly. He didn't particularly like the overly sweet taste but the late nights were beginning to take their toll, especially since he was woken up early most mornings by Hanji messing around in the apartment. They were unemployed at the moment and Levi wasn't sure where they found their seemingly boundless energy, or why they felt the need to wake up at 6am to use it. Levi sighed heavily, making his way to the toilets to complete his least favourite task of the day. Not that the toilets were ever particularly disgusting; in fact they were pretty nice, in keeping with the rest of the smart office building, but Levi still didn't like the thought of the multitude of germs festering in there.

He hastily tugged on plastic gloves, and an apron to match and wiped down the door with disinfectant before he pushed it open. He didn't notice the occupied stall immediately, and began cleaning the sinks thoroughly, ignoring his reflection in the wide mirrors. He knew he looked like shit, he didn't need a reminder. Lack of sleep and his naturally pale complexion usually mixed to give him the appearance of, according to Hanji, 'a particularly sullen ghost.' After a few moments, Levi heard the slight snuffle from the stall behind him and froze. Murmuring followed, as though the person in the stall was on the phone. At least, he hoped that they were on the phone and not talking to themselves. Levi continued cleaning, finishing the room in record time, and considered leaving without cleaning the final stall. He dismissed the idea, not the type to leave a job half done. The mumbling was still emanating from behind the locked door, and Levi didn't fancy hanging around to clean the stall later, so he gently knocked on the door.

"Hey, you alright in there?" He asked, hoping that the person would not make this difficult. There was clunk from the stall, as though the person had jolted in surprise.

"Yes!" They squeaked, "Fine thankyou! I'll just- I'll be just a moment!" Levi shrugged to himself and left the room, starting to gather up his supplies again. Once he had finished the bathroom, he would have to take the lift up to the next floor to do it all over again. It seemed endless sometimes, but the work suited Levi just fine. The hours weren't exactly conducive to a social life but, then again, Levi didn't really socialise enough to make it an issue. Hange was pretty much his only friend and they didn't have a job so they were always more than available. It was hard work, but Levi got some sort of satisfaction once he had finished and could see the office looking spotless. Even if it would be messed up again the next day. The bathroom door swung open and a young, blond man in a smart button-up shirt shuffled out sheepishly. His eyes were red-rimmed and puffy and Levi nodded at him in recognition. The young man smiled weakly in response and began collecting piles of papers from his desk.

"Sorry, I didn't realise the time. I'll get going." He was shoving the papers in a leather satchel, and Levi noticed that his desk was the one with the potted plant.

"It's fine. That your plant?"

The young man's eyebrows shot up in surprise and he nodded. "Yeh, it's mine. Sorry, are we not supposed to have plants in the office? I can take it home if it's-"

Levi waved a hand dismissively. "No, no, it's fine. I just wondered what it was. My flatmates... into plants."

"Oh." The young man shuffled on the spot, fingers fiddling with the identification card that hung from the lanyard around his neck. "It's a Gardenia Bonsai. It's pretty, right?"

"Sure." Levi gave a faint shrug, and the other man finished packing away his belongings, giving Levi a small smile before leaving the office.

The bathroom now empty, Levi had finished his cleaning on this floor, and contemplated starting the floor above. It was just the same all over again and Levi took another gulp of his energy drink, hoping to gather some motivation. He decided that it was time for a short rest and, as he often did, shoved his packet of cigarettes and a lighter in his back pocket before taking the lift to the top floor. The top floor of the office building was the domain of the most senior employees and Levi swept through it quickly, heading for the door that would take him to the roof. It would be cold, Levi was sure, and dark but he enjoyed the peace of the space.  The building was high, towering above the surrounding structures, and Levi liked the illusion that it created, as though there was nothing separating him from the wide night sky.

Levi scoffed at the sentimental thought and made his way onto the roof, the metal door squeaking slightly as he slid through. It was freezing and Levi hunched in his thin jacket as he lit a cigarette. He really hated the smell, hated the way it stuck to his fingers and clothes, but it had simply become a habit. It was the lesser of many evils. The smoke mingled with his breath in the cold air, and Levi lifted his head to gaze at the sky.

He wasn't alone.

There was a figure, a man, standing tall on top of the raised edge of the roof, looking down at the streets. Levi's heart sank at the sight, immediately recognising the scene in front of him. It was going to be a rough night. The man was dressed impeccably, the expensive nature of his suit obvious even in the dim light, and Levi almost laughed at how out of place he looked, as though he had accidentally stumbled up here on his way to an important business meeting. The man had clearly not noticed him yet, so Levi took a chance and called out to him.

"You want a cigarette?" He called, and the man jolted, almost losing his balance in the process. Maybe calling out to him hadn't been such a good idea after all. Levi began walking slowly towards him, willing his movements to seem casual as the man stared at him. As he drew closer, Levi found himself surprised by the cool neutrality of the man's expression, his eyes appraising him unwaveringly. Levi extended his hand, offering the cigarettes to the other man, but he simply shook his head in reply.

"They're very bad for your health, you know." The man spoke calmly, and Levi couldn't hold back the short bark of laughter that escaped from between his lips.

"So is falling from the top of a building." Levi retorted, as he shoved the packet back in his pocket and perched on the raised edge, careful not to look down at the city below. As much as Levi enjoyed taking his breaks on the roof, he was not brilliant with heights and looking over the edge would probably result in a large bout of queasiness. The other man seemed to have no such problem, his gaze having returned to the bustle and lights of the city.

Levi dropped his cigarette butt on the floor and crushed it with the sole of his shoe, his hands delving deep within his pockets to escape the bitter cold.

"It's pretty cold up here. Come get a coffee with me." Levi suggested, doubting that it would be this easy, but holding out hope. The man hummed quietly, and shook his head again.

"It's too late for coffee." He didn't look at Levi as he spoke, still staring over the edge of the roof, and Levi suppressed the urge to sigh.

"Tea then. The caffeine-free kind. Come on, you seem like an interesting guy."

He didn't. He seemed like the kind of guy who did the crossword for fun, and drank disgusting green smoothies for breakfast, and went to barbeques with his bland wife and work-friends every weekend. But still, Levi couldn't walk away and shoulder the guilt that he knew would follow him, even if the man seemed like he had a stick lodged up his ass. Levi opened his mouth to speak, as the man had not responded, but was interrupted by a loud, metallic screech that made him jump slightly in shock. It seemed to have the same effect on the other man, who jerked forwards involuntarily, and Levi didn't hesitate to grab his jacket and yank him back as hard as he could manage. The pair landed on the floor, sitting in silence for a few moments until Levi stood and pulled the other man with him.

"Come on, we're going for a drink." The man didn't reply, but followed Levi as he ducked back through the door, still screeching as the wind buffeted it back and forth. Levi rubbed his cold hands together, glad to be back in the warmth of the offices, and glanced behind him to check that his new acquaintance was following him. The man looked pale, Levi noticed, and was shaking slightly, skilfully avoiding Levi's questioning gaze.

"You got a coat somewhere? I doubt mine will fit you." The man nodded and slid into one of the glass-walled offices.

Levi shuffled, feeling a strange reluctance to follow him into the office, much more comfortable in his domain a few floors down. He didn't have to wait long, the man sweeping back into the corridor huddled in a well-tailored coat and thick scarf. The pair stood in silence in the lift, the other man staring resolutely at the wall as Levi eyed his coat with poorly concealed envy. Maybe he could convince Hanji to stop spending his money on expensive potted plants and invest in a thicker coat for the winter months. Levi snorted quietly to himself at the near impossibility of the thought, and hopped out of the lift to collect his bag. He'd have to ask the other janitor to cover the second floor for him, seeing as he appeared to be taking an impromptu coffee break. Levi sighed as he shot off a quick text to his co-worker, hoping that he'd be able to return the many favours that Levi had racked up against him.

He really needed to learn to say no, whether it was Hange asking for money, co-workers asking for favours, or, apparently, strangers standing ominously on rooftops.

The stranger was still waiting in the lift, continuing to stare at the wall as Levi returned his supplies to the cupboard, each item in its proper place. He hardly reacted as Levi re-joined him, slinging his backpack onto his shoulders, and fiddling absentmindedly with the fraying edges of the straps. The man cleared his throat quietly, and Levi could see him shift awkwardly out of the corner of his eye.

"So, you're the janitor?" He asked, his flat tone doing little to convey how he felt about the new information. Levi fought against the spark of irritation that coursed through him at the question. He didn't talk the man down from a rooftop to get shit on because of his job.

"Yeah, I'm one of the janitors." He stated, now tugging at the loose strands of the backpack straps.

"Oh. I didn't think I recognised you." Levi bit back a snarky retort because _of course_ the guy doesn't recognise him. Levi's pretty sure, now that he can see his face clearly, that he's seen him around the office a few times, leaving after working late. He’s pretty sure that they have also exchanged pleasantries, the odd nod or smile as they pass each-other in the lobby. But of course he doesn't remember the janitor. Levi reminds himself how much he needs the job as he forces himself to remain silent.

The doors open, and Levi almost sighs in relief, the confines of the lift seeming all too small to contain his sudden rush of anger. He strides across the lobby, not checking to see if the man is following him, and ignores the questioning look of the lone security man that guards the front doors. He is assured of the man's presence when he feels him enter the small space of the revolving doors next to him.

Who the hell shares a space in a revolving door?

Levi speeds through and braces himself as the cold air of the street hits him, the wind somehow seeming even fiercer than it had on the roof. There was a chain coffee shop only a few minutes’ walk away but Levi was beginning to regret his sudden act of generosity. Maybe he had been wrong about the whole thing. The guy could simply have been getting a breath of fresh air. On a rooftop. Right on the edge of the rooftop.

Levi sighed, hoping that buying the guy a cup of tea and listening to his woes would be enough to assuage him of any responsibility. He didn't really want to know about his troubles, he had enough of his own to worry about, but he knew that he couldn't walk away now without guaranteeing a few more sleepless nights. He didn't think that the guy would really have jumped, something about his calm demeanour had reassured him against that, but he was obviously in a rough patch. Levi gritted his teeth, preparing to listen to the problems of a businessman who probably made ten times the amount of money that he did. Levi pushed open the door to the coffee shop, his silent companion following him and lightly bumping into his back as he abruptly stopped at the counter. The barista recognised Levi with a smile, used to seeing him here after his shift had ended and he was desperate for another dose of caffeine.

"Hey, Levi. You finished early?" Farlan asked, leaning casually against the counter. The coffee shop was quiet, due to the late hour, and there were only a few couples dotted about and a harried-looking student typing furiously away at a laptop.

"Yeah. I'll have my usual. And this guy will have a peppermint tea." Levi gestured vaguely behind him and Farlan's eyes widened almost comically. He supposed that they must look like a strange pair, with Erwin in his business suit and Levi in the hideous green polo shirt that his boss forced him to wear.

"New friend, Levi?" Farlan asked, and Levi did his best to ignore the sly smirk that he flashed him, only grunting in reply. Farlan waved at his companion cheerily before introducing himself, apparently forgetting the obnoxious nameplate that adorned his apron. The man cleared his throat, and his voice was still unaffected and calm.

"I'm Erwin Smith. Nice to meet you." The man smiled briefly before making his way to a table, shrugging off his coat and staring intently at his phone, leaving Levi alone by the counter.

Farlan raised an eyebrow at Levi, who shrugged, and watched as he made their drinks. Levi was loathe to admit it, but he enjoyed Farlan's company. He wasn't as energetic as Hanji and seemed to understand when to be quiet and leave Levi to his own devices. He slid the drinks across to Levi on a try and took his money with a smile, before turning to another customer. Levi joined Erwin at the table and the pair sat in silence for a good ten minutes, Erwin still staring resolutely at his phone screen.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you that it's rude to be on your phone when in company?" Levi questioned, stirring more sugar into his cooling coffee. Another bad habit bred by late nights and a poor sleep schedule.

"Ah." Erwin slipped his phone into his coat pocket. "Of course. My apologies."

Levi wasn't sure if this was how Erwin actually spoke, or some sort of self-mocking joke, but either way it was definitely strange.

"It's fine." He mumbled, wincing as he sipped at the overly sweet coffee. "So. What's your deal?" He peered at Erwin over the rim of his cup, catching a glimpse of his bemused expression.

"My deal?" Erwin asked, watching as Levi scooped the tea bag from his cup.

"You shouldn't let your tea steep for that long. It'll taste like shit." He instructed. "Yeah. Your deal. Why the late-night rooftop excursion?"

Erwin simply hummed in thought, now staring into his cup instead of his phone. Levi let him stew for a minute, taking measured sips of his coffee and hoping absently that his co-worker had been able to cover the rest of his shift. He didn't want to anger his boss by leaving half of his work undone.

"Okay, then. I'll take a guess." Levi broke the silence, humming and rubbing his chin in a mockery of deep thought. " _Too_ rich?" Erwin chuckled lightly at that, more of a huff really, but he sounded vaguely amused to Levi.

"Funnily enough that has never presented itself as a problem."

"No shit." Levi leant back in his chair and drained the rest of his coffee.

Erwin's gaze lifted from his tea, still untouched, to Levi, his expression still annoyingly measured and calm. He shifted slightly, tugging his coat back on, and rifling in his pocket.

"I'm afraid I have to go. Thank you for the tea. Please let me pay you back." Erwin extracted his wallet from his pocket, and Levi attempted to wave him off, but he simply flattened a crisp bill underneath his tea cup.

"You sure you don't want to finish your tea?" Levi asked, unsure if he could count this as a success if he let Erwin wander off. He berated himself for the thought. If there really was something wrong with the man, a cup of tea and a chat with a stranger would hardly fix it.

"I'm sorry but my wife will be waiting at home. Thank you again." He nodded and Levi felt a multitude of words on his tongue, words of comfort or advice, but none seemed right.

The door opened, letting in a blast of cold air, and Erwin left. Levi cursed, ignoring the questioning look that it earned from Farlan, and grabbed the note from underneath the cup. It was a 50. Levi grimaced, turning the note over in his hands. He didn't know if Erwin had left it on purpose, as some backwards show of pity or generosity, or if it had been an accident caused by his lack of concentration. Levi considered taking it back to Erwin tomorrow, but wasn't keen on starting another awkward conversation. He pocketed the money, sure that Erwin wouldn't miss it anyway, and left the coffee shop with an absent-minded wave in Farlan's direction.

The trek back home was never pleasant, a 20 minute battle against the cold, and Levi found himself pausing outside of the huge supermarket that marked the halfway point. Levi shuffled in without thinking and picked up a thick scarf and gloves, both in an nondescript grey. Together, they weren't that expensive and Levi almost wanted to roll his eyes at himself as he headed for the small home-wares section. He was as bad as Hanji, he was a goddam enabler but he couldn't help it. Some people were extremely difficult to make happy, but Hanji was delightfully simple to please. Levi picked out a small plant, similar to the one that had been in the office, and headed for the checkout. He still had some cash left over from the 50, enough for extra bits and pieces during the week, or a top up for the emergency fund that he kept hidden in his underwear drawer.

Hanji was asleep when he arrived home, curled up on the sofa with an animal documentary blaring in the background. Levi hung up his jacket and placed the plant on the small dining table, already laden with leafy menaces that left soil and water over everything. He crept towards Hanji quietly, removing their glasses from their face, and draping the blanket from his armchair over their shoulders. It was a strangely peaceful scene, even with the drool drying on their face, and the greasy hair that Levi itched to scrub. Levi distantly mused that it probably seemed so peaceful because he no longer had to worry about Hanji choking on their own vomit in their sleep, or waking up drenched in sweat and delirious. He let a sense of pride wash over him as he turned off the television and lights, shuffling into his bedroom and changing into a comfy t-shirt and sweatpants. It was never going to be easy, but Levi could sleep better these days, his fears for Hanji dulled to a light anxiety that kept his brain from switching off completely. His mind wandered to Erwin, and the multitude of things that he could have said to him but didn't, and ran through the many options until his eyes began to droop.

" _You can't save everyone, Levi_ ". Hanji's words played over and over in his mind as he tried to sleep. It had somehow stayed with him from a conversation many years ago, and he used it as a sort of mantra, even if he didn't fully believe in the statement. He tried to calm himself by repeating it, unsure when he had begun to say the words out loud to himself, and hoped that his inaction wouldn't be something he came to regret.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is freckled-krista. Come say hi!


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